Frolic & Detour

Thought this was very appropriate for today...

When we were young life was easier, right? I know sometimes it seems that way. But the truth is life still is easy. It always will be. The only difference is we’re older, and the older we get, the harder we make things for ourselves.

You see, when we were young we saw the world through simple, hopeful eyes. We knew what we wanted and we had no biases or concealed agendas. We liked people who smiled. We avoided people who frowned. We ate when we were hungry, drank when we were thirsty, and slept when we were tired.

As we grew older our minds became gradually disillusioned by negative external influences. At some point we began to hesitate and question our instincts. When a new obstacle or growing pain arose, we stumbled and fell down. This happened several times. Eventually we decided we didn’t want to fall again, but rather than solving the problem that caused us to fall, we avoided it all together.

As a result, we ate comfort food and drank alcohol to numb our wounds and fill our voids. We worked late nights on purpose to avoid unresolved conflicts at home. We started holding grudges, playing mind games, and subtly deceiving others and ourselves to get ahead. And when it didn’t work out, we lived above our means, used lies to cover up lies, and ate and drank some more just to make ourselves feel better again.

Over the course of time, we made our lives harder and harder, and we started losing touch with who we really are and what we really need.

Here are some common mistakes you’ve likely made in the past, and some ideas on simplifying things starting today:

1. You let others make you feel guilty for living your life. – As long as you’re not hurting anyone else, keep living your life YOUR way. Sometimes we get lost in trying to live for someone else, trying to meet their expectations, and doing things just to impress them. Take a moment and think about it. Are you doing things because you truly believe in them? Remember your own goals. Live, do and love so that you are happy, because when it comes down to it, relationships can end in an instant, but you will live with yourself for the rest of your life.

2. You always assign negative intent to people’s actions. – Another driver cut you off in traffic. Your friend never texted you back. Your colleague went to lunch without you. Everyone can find a reason to be offended on a daily basis. So what caused you to be offended? You assigned negative intent to these otherwise innocent actions. You took it as a personal insult – a slap in the face. Don’t do this to yourself. Don’t take things personally. Don’t assign negative intent to the unintentional actions of others. Let today be the day you look for the good in people instead.

3. You are stuck on your mistakes. – It’s important that we forgive ourselves for making mistakes. We need to learn from our errors and move forward. Make a pact with yourself today to not be defined by your past. Sometimes the greatest thing to come out of all your hard work isn’t what you get for it, but what you learn from it. A happy, successful life, after all, is not a life absent of problems, but one that’s been able to rise above them.

4. You’re letting loss devour you. – Sometimes you have to work at happiness. Some hurdles in life are too difficult to clear simply by adopting a positive mindset. Do you need to forgive someone? Do you need to let go of a failed relationship? Do you need to come to terms with the death of a loved one? Life is full of loss. But, in a sense, true happiness would not be possible without it. It helps us appreciate the good times. It helps us grow. If you’re struggling to see the light, you’re not alone. Find someone who understands and talk to them. Reach out for support. Don’t let loss devour you.

5. You keep cutting corners and taking the easy way out. – Do what is right, not what is easy. And do the right thing even if no one else will ever know. Why? Because YOU will know.